My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
