All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
