We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no you cant smoke seaweed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
