Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Randomize
