she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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