laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i came on her dog
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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