Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
