Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
