Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
