Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
