Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
