Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
