I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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