were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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