People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize