it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
All the doctor said was why
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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