with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
