operation harelip BJ is a go
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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