Whod you bang
wanna go halves on a baby?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
