The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
