It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
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You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
