i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
