every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
