haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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