Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
