Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
