We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
there is puke in my bra ... again
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