we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
