If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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