Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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