I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
