im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Who died my cat blue again?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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