We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
