drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
