You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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