Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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