Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
