he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
