I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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