I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
