how can u be prego again
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
