Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
