I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
