I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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