This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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