Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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