I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
