Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
