so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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