So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
