if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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